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Bean's Back with More from Rio!

    Fri, 2004-09-03 18:28 — Mr. Bean

    Bean's Back and the Secrets Are Out! We at OTM had to keep this story wrapped up for 6 months so it could cool down.

    Mr. Bean Rules of Engagement was printed in the November 2002 issue of Gracie Magazine. Top secret information for Gringos on how to pick up the best girls in Rio de Janeiro was made available to the people of Brazil.
    Outrage broke loose through the Brazilian community. The largest newspaper in Rio de Janeiro, O Dia, printed two consecutive articles second page articles brutally attacking Bean, calling him Sedutor Ianque (Yankee Seducer), and Conquistador. For weeks, Bean's article was the talk of Brazilian tv and radio.
    Fearing that the airport police in Rio de Janeiro would not let him enter the country, Bean secretly entered Brazil from Colombia, traveling through the border town of Tabatinga in the Amazon jungle. We recently interviewed Mr. Bean.
    OTM: What do you think about Gracie Magazine printing your article?
    Bean: I find it extremely unfortunate that the tactics outlined within the Rules of Engagement article are now available to the Cariocas. Women are going to be a lot more aware. Now, I'll need to write a sequel. I'll have to go out twice as much, meet twice as many girls, and be twice as thorough.
    OTM: What about everybody getting wound up and upset about the article.
    Bean: Considering that this all occurred with the election of a new president, a war between the police and the drug lords, shouldn't my critics have been more concerned with bigger issues? Why the hell was I that huge? It's true. We come down here. We spend lots of money. And we do pick up chicks. But what exactly is the issue here? Please, an invasion of American's coming here just to screw? It's absolutely absurd. I think Brazilian women like Americans for good reason. We're generally kind, polite, well natured… And we party hard. It's a good thing.
    OTM: For the record, what is your opinion of the people of Brazil?
    Bean: Despite how I was portrayed, I have a strong caring for the people. I find that the people here are really helpful and considerate, considering I'm a gringo, an outsider so to speak, and they try to help me out. Whenever I encounter problems here in Rio, everyone offers me assistance. It's really great. The thing I want to mention and I'm saddened about is all the poverty. While in the U.S., regardless of whether it's true or not, we often say people are homeless by choice, because we think there's always a way out, always a choice. And here, I'm not so sure that's true. I think a lot of people don't have an opportunity or future, and are really born with extremley few options. That's something that upsets me.
    OTM: And the women?
    Bean: What can I say? I'm in love. Umm… They're kind… loving… passionate… beautiful, obviously (laughs). I'm really happy to be here.
    OTM: Any other thoughts?
    Bean: Ya, clearly all the hot chicks in the clubs don't read O Dia, because I'm still getting laid. How to pick up a Carioca American passes temporarily through Rio de Janeiro and writes guide for foreigners providing controversial tips to on conquering the women Élcio Braga Scott

    (e) , publisher of the ' OntheMat ', and Bean, author of the guide, in the Carioca night

    The American's obtained a dirty weapon for invasion: not for Iraq, but for the beaches and nightclubs of Rio de Janeiro. After a visit to the city, the Yankee, Mr. Bean wrote a guide for his compatriots to get with the Cariocas. {Drama queen.} He confers some teachings of the conqueror: "Do not grab the butt on the exit. If a vagabond, finding it difficult, pass the other way, pay for a drink, and with luck, you can finish between her legs." {HEY!!! I never said that.} The tips had been published in the virtual magazine OntheMat.com, covering submission fighting for fans in the United States.

    The tips had been published in the American site of submission wrestling, ' Onthemat ' The guide of the American still shows series of photos made in the Carioca night. Bean always appraises encircled by beautiful women. In some, he hotly kisses a girlfriend of the hour. {Oh, that's low.} He is presented as a 'catcher' of the first. In the commentaries, he makes a discrete compliment to the Cariocas. The women of other states, accordingly, are still more easy. Bean is one of the collaborators of the site.
    Cariocas revolt with the suggestions of Bean
    The advice had left many Cariocas on the brink of an attack of the nerves. "The woman who comes easy goes easy for the best one offers. He (the author) is not speaking of the Brazilian woman, and, yes, of prostitutes. The Brazilian women has much personality. I suggest that it changes the name for guide of the pleasure .", criticized the percussionist Silvania de Jesus, of the group the Solteríssimas. {Please, I think all the girls in the photos would take great offense at being called prostitutes. They deserve an apology from Silvania de Jesus.}
    The Gracie Magazine published the guide and received criticism. "It generated controversy for language that the American used. We do not endorse his opinions. It is a vision of a foreigner of how to have access to the things here ", observed the publisher of the magazine, Luca Atalla. {Ok, "ring-chasing bitch" might have been a little harsh.}
    When knowing of the publication of the guide in Brazil, the publisher of the OntheMat.com , Scott Nelson, in Rio, was opposed to the printing of the guide. "I do not agree with the article as it went out. I didn't know the guide was going to be printed in Gracie Magazine. There was a misunderstanding.", pondered Scott. He alleged that Mr. Bean represents a person who portrays with good humor the customs of the cities that he visits. "He is nicknamed Mr. Bean because he's full of comedy. Brazilians sometimes have a problem understanding our humor. Then again, Americans sometimes do as well", Scott said.
    ' They find that here she is alone mulata, samba and soccer '
    "I disagree with this ridiculous guide. I don't like blond haired men with blue eyes. I like Caroicas. We are beautiful! I find this fame of Rio De Janeiro in the exterior terrible. They find that here is only mulata, samba and soccer '. {Girl, calm yourself for a second. You won't find us hitting on you. We've never hit on a girl as hideous, nor do we intend to. Please, don't be upset, there's simply no reason to be upset. } ELZA BEATRIZ MIRANDA DAYS, 31 years, saleswoman
    'You can not generalize these things today. I also had an Italian boyfriend that I knew from Nuth when he came to pass vacation here. I was with him because he was an interesting man and a pleasant and very respectable person '. LÍVIA DINIS , 18 years, student
    "Other things are important a relationship to give certainty. I find it difficult that one guide done in this way can really present results. Any thing that is based on one stereotype is flawed. I am indifferent to this type of guide. This does not disturb me", JULIANA PAES , actress
    'We cannot generalize, but there are many women who are interested in the same. I respect, but it is difficult to find somebody that wants commitment, that takes things seriously. I gave up on chivalry and try no more'. PHILIP AZEVEDO , 22 years, analyst of insurances
    'I agree with the guide. Today, it is very easy, some girls just come. I don't like this. The girls lose the love, the delicacy, the charm. They should try to change this image. '. PHILIP MACEDO, 21 years, microentrepreneur
    "I did not read the guide, but, by what was said to me, the American does not understand anything about woman. He has a stereotyped vision. The Brazilian woman likes good papo, joy and of a more sensible man in the treatment. Between four walls, is another story. She can deal with diverse ways, but with dialogue ", {Because famous actors look like this, you can clearly see why the girls flock to us. While he was eager to get his face in the paper, Heitor didn't even read my article. What a fool, huh?

    O Dia, please, at least have your interviewees read my work prior to comment! Also, please apologize to Heitor for using such a bad picture. He looks like a dork.} HEITOR MARTINEZ, actor of the film
    ' As To be Single in Rio ' The ' Tips ' • They say speak English, have much money and adore foreigner. The rule is that girls with money go to pull out more money from you. {Well, I'm sorry, but it's true. You're generally going to have to spend more money on a girl with money. She'll be accustomed to nice dinners, expensive nights out, etc. And she'll expect the guy to pay. It's not all that different from the U.S., so stop bitching at me. I'm all for women's independence and letting her pay.} •
    The girls are receptive. But either educated or she will move away. She does not use pickup lines or be overly aggressive. • Dance with her at most, in the maximum, 20 minutes with the girl. After this, the kiss should have happened. Leave her. Don't waste time. • After the first kiss, never risks arriving close to her butt. Discover the type of girl it is before going for more. • On a first date, never go to nightclubs where there are distractions (pretty women for you and ex-boyfriends for her). •
    In the second time you meet her, meet strategically for a bar close to motel. Without money, it finishes enchantment ' In Copacabana, the quarter known internationally for the beach and prostitutes, there are women that assume the allure for money and foreigners. The dollar, for they, is the attractive greater in the men. "Without money and generosity, they lose the enchantment. We do not give ", it affirms Danielle Shelby, 19 years. {No money, no sex, huh???? It's not that way for me!!!}
    The women also dream high. They want to marry, to live in the exterior, to learn other languages, why not? The ambition is rule. Melissa, 18 years, plans to marry and to live in Switzerland in the year that comes. She wants to turn 'madame' and to learn German, but she does not let the work go. "I want to always have my money, but not to depend on him. I work in the nightclub Help and I adore the Americans. I like blond-haired men with blue eyes the most," she says. { Please, there's no reason to resort to prostitutes.}
    The municipal secretary of Tourism, Jose Eduardo Guinle, did not want to give his opinion about the guide, not wishing to give acknowledgement to this type of publication. The Riotur does not show any more women in biquínis in its distribution of materials. {What? Was I too hot to handle for the Secretary of Tourism to comment?}
    Script for conquest of the American Internet Columnist points better places for tourists to obtain, without difficulty, girls in Rio Élcio Braga Bean is known as Mr. Bean The American Mr. Bean alone thinks about that. In his guide for bachelors in Rio, he advises to leave for love conquests before the nightclubs open. Nor in the shopping malls can they escape the trappings of the Yankee seducer. {Wow, I'm a seducer!}
    He suggests to enter the bikini shops to hit on girls, believing, in contrast to the Americans, the Cariocas can be receptive at work. The guide of Mr. Bean is on the American site Onthemat.com , directed toward submission wrestling. The tips of the conqueror had generated controversy. For many, he treats the Carioca as woman-object. {I'm a conqueror as well??? I'm kicking ass, huh?}
    Jaqueline ( E ) and Renata received praises in masculine store {For sure, we weren't hitting on these two. Rio has so much more to offer than this…. Although, we might have been teasing them. I can't remember.}
    The ideas of the site are contested. "Until this, I find them (the Americans) good looking, but they are a little bold. First, they ask to see my tattooing and, after the compliments, then they go for gracinhas ", delivers salesman Alexandra Nastari, 19 years, that work in the BarraShopping. Between the salesmen, the Americans old are known: "a time, had entered Americans here in the store and had asked for to take a photo. They had been educated and in they had not saved compliments ", remembers Vanessa Pine, 25 to them. "I did not receive specific phrases. They make compliments, in the maximum," recounts Jaqueline Rodrigues, 19. "Many are accompanied and ask for information of places", say Renata Barred. {I guess we're lucky O Dia never found out about the day we went into Barra Shopping with video cameras and interviewed girls.}. Alexandra finds foreigners to be bold {Hey, I think she's cute!}
    The American Priscilla Ann Goslin, author of the best-seller How to Be a Carioca , thinks that the guide of Bean was a joke. But she recognizes that the American women are different from the Brazilian women. "There, if you want to conquer the women, you have to appeal the intellectual side. Yet, the Brazilian woman appreciates to be praised by the body ", thinks Goslin. {Buy her book! We like it! She knows what I'm talking about!} •
    Bean chooses shopping malls as thew ideal place for wooing girls. He suggests BarraShopping, Fashion Mall, River Sul and Botafogo Praia Shopping. • According to him, in the United States, women are offended if approached at the workplace, which doesn't happen in the malls in Rio. His favorite store is the Track and Field in BarraShopping. "Many good-looking girls try biquínis" he exults. It still advises the food plaza. • He says that in the beaches, in contrast of that if he thinks, the women are less receptive. •
    The best women are at Nuth (Bar): "There, always I remember that part of the film Jerry McGuire where the girl says 'You got me at "Hello."' He still recommends People, Baronetti and Rock in Rio. ·Bean warns about Help, which has "good-looking girls, transvestites, and prostitutes."
     

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