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Fri, 2008-01-25 08:21 — victorygreg
This post is my lame attempt at humor.
Who would win?
BJ vs Hercules
Faber vs The Cucuy
Coture vs The Avengers
Lesnar vs George "The Animal" Steele
Liddell vs Rambo
Sherk vs Strawberry Shortcake
Tank vs Fat Albert
Tagged: Off The Mat
bjpenn vs heracles/hercules heracles via cerberus attack
uriahfaber vs el cucuy uriahfaber via spanking
randycouture vs avengers randycouture via power cosmic
brocklesnar vs georgesteele georgesteele via cannibalism
chuckliddell vs johnrambo johnrambo via skullfuck
seansherk vs ms. shortcake ms. shortcake via superior wardrobe
tankabbot vs fat albert fat albert via flying "buck buck" slam
that about covers it, neh? hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Here is a new one.
GSP vs Kermit the frog (the winner get to keep the voice)
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! well, this one isn't exactly straight foreward.
obviously, georgestpierre would win the fight, due to his superior combative experience. still, those long legs of kermit are no joke, doing significant damage in the process.
what changes the dynamic of this fight is the presence of kermit's long time lover/dominatrix, miss piggy. she is a mighty warrior. she has laid out every opponent with a single blow.
while georgestpierre has excellent defensive skills, perhaps necessitating miss piggy striking several blows to finish him, he knows he would be beaten severely. in battle, few beings could match the fury of miss piggy.
georgestpierre would thus throw the fight with kermit (making it look good) in order to avoid wrath of miss piggy.
we will assume this is not a championship fight, and thus a 3 rounder.
georgestpierre would keep it on the feet, avoiding the clinch as much as possible, giving kermit a greater chance of landing some decent combinations. georgestpierre would play it conservative in the 1st giving kermit a clear lead. due to the power of frog legs, kermit would be found to have a VERY powerful "teep" or "push kick". after a couple of these sending georgestpierre flying, georgestpierre would change up the game in the 2nd.
the second would look much better for georgestpierre. there will be much more lateral movement and countering the teep. this round would go well for the canadian fighter. relying on the teep, kermit would be seen picking himself up several times. miss piggy (who would likely be cornering) would be hollering for kermit to "let his hands go". unfortunately, this would be a bit of a mistake due to the human's superior reach and upper body power.
fans would actually be thinking georgestpierre will win as the third begins. as the two fighters engage each other, the canadian will "accidentally" miss the teep defense a couple times in a row, taking significant blows to the ribs and possibly head as he crashes backward into the cage. "wobbly", the human will spend most of the round stalling and avoiding his "superior" opponent. toward the end of the fight, the human will shoot for a double leg takedown and and land in the guard. during a guard pass attempt, georgestpierre will accidentally leave one arm behind and fail to defend a triangle choke by kermit.
georgestpierre vs kermit kermit via triangle choke
georgestpierre vs kermit kermit via triangle choke
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBE6gKfRbwM&feature=related]Miss Piggy beats up Scooter and Kermit[/ame]
Miss Piggy beats up Scooter and Kermit
Such violence in society. Is Kermit the frog related to his less known cousin Wonderfrog?
Is Kermit the frog related to his less known cousin Wonderfrog?
indubitably, my fine froggy befriending fellow! :D
the real question is whether or not wonderfrog has a bodyguard/lover like ms.piggy. perhaps named mrs.hogg or la puerca the luchadora?
the answer is... "if he comes in shape no one can beat BJ Penn."
haha that was awesome
Butterbean vs The Stay Puff Marshmallow Man
Keith Hackney vs Cobra Kai Sensei
Jens Pulver (lil evil) vs Little Richard
Takanori Gomi vs Gomer Pile
Gina Carano vs Gem and the Holograms
butterbean vs staypuff staypuff could not enter arena and therefore could not fight.
butterbean via forfeiture.
keithhackney vs cobrakai sensei. keithhackney demonstrated willingness to rain strikes upon the enemy despite broken hands. sensei cut his knuckles and caved like a sissy. after crushing sensei and about 100 cobra kai students.........
keithhackney via cajones.
jenspulver vs little richard. little richard is known for ear piercing vocal frequencies. in the first round little richard would cut loose with a "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" at about 150mhz and 99 decibels.
little richard via referree stoppage (jens ears, nose and eyes bleeding).
takanorigomi vs gomerpyle. gomerpyle was known for his rarely used singing voice. time life collections called his voice "hypnotic".
gomerpyle via crooning.
ginacarrano vs. gem and the holograms. ginacarrano is the obvious superior combatant. however, the lightshow produced by her opponents would be visually disorienting leaving her vulnerable to her diminutive opponents' attacks (such that they are).
gem and the holograms via split decision.
BJ over Hercules (Tapout)
Faber over The Cucuy (K.O.)
The Avengers over Coture (Decision)
George "The Animal" Steele over Lesnar (Flying Hammerlock)
Rambo over Liddell (Arrow Through the Heart)
Sherk & Strawberry Shortcake (Draw)
Fat Albert over Tank (Shanked, cause F.A. is straight hood)