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BJ Penn vs Hercules

    Fri, 2008-01-25 08:21 — victorygreg

    This post is my lame attempt at humor.

    Who would win?

    BJ vs Hercules
    Faber vs The Cucuy
    Coture vs The Avengers
    Lesnar vs George "The Animal" Steele
    Liddell vs Rambo
    Sherk vs Strawberry Shortcake
    Tank vs Fat Albert

    lorenzodamarith's picture

    victorygreg;18225 wrote:
    This post is my lame attempt at humor.

    Who would win?

    BJ vs Hercules
    Faber vs The Cucuy
    Coture vs The Avengers
    Lesnar vs George "The Animal" Steele
    Liddell vs Rambo
    Sherk vs Strawberry Shortcake
    Tank vs Fat Albert

    hello,

    bjpenn vs heracles/hercules heracles via cerberus attack
    uriahfaber vs el cucuy uriahfaber via spanking
    randycouture vs avengers randycouture via power cosmic
    brocklesnar vs georgesteele georgesteele via cannibalism
    chuckliddell vs johnrambo johnrambo via skullfuck
    seansherk vs ms. shortcake ms. shortcake via superior wardrobe
    tankabbot vs fat albert fat albert via flying "buck buck" slam

    that about covers it, neh? hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    thanks

    Your rating: None
    victorygreg's picture

    Here is a new one.

    GSP vs Kermit the frog (the winner get to keep the voice)

    Your rating: None
    lorenzodamarith's picture

    hello,

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! well, this one isn't exactly straight foreward.

    obviously, georgestpierre would win the fight, due to his superior combative experience. still, those long legs of kermit are no joke, doing significant damage in the process.

    what changes the dynamic of this fight is the presence of kermit's long time lover/dominatrix, miss piggy. she is a mighty warrior. she has laid out every opponent with a single blow.

    while georgestpierre has excellent defensive skills, perhaps necessitating miss piggy striking several blows to finish him, he knows he would be beaten severely. in battle, few beings could match the fury of miss piggy.

    georgestpierre would thus throw the fight with kermit (making it look good) in order to avoid wrath of miss piggy.

    we will assume this is not a championship fight, and thus a 3 rounder.

    georgestpierre would keep it on the feet, avoiding the clinch as much as possible, giving kermit a greater chance of landing some decent combinations. georgestpierre would play it conservative in the 1st giving kermit a clear lead. due to the power of frog legs, kermit would be found to have a VERY powerful "teep" or "push kick". after a couple of these sending georgestpierre flying, georgestpierre would change up the game in the 2nd.

    the second would look much better for georgestpierre. there will be much more lateral movement and countering the teep. this round would go well for the canadian fighter. relying on the teep, kermit would be seen picking himself up several times. miss piggy (who would likely be cornering) would be hollering for kermit to "let his hands go". unfortunately, this would be a bit of a mistake due to the human's superior reach and upper body power.

    fans would actually be thinking georgestpierre will win as the third begins. as the two fighters engage each other, the canadian will "accidentally" miss the teep defense a couple times in a row, taking significant blows to the ribs and possibly head as he crashes backward into the cage. "wobbly", the human will spend most of the round stalling and avoiding his "superior" opponent. toward the end of the fight, the human will shoot for a double leg takedown and and land in the guard. during a guard pass attempt, georgestpierre will accidentally leave one arm behind and fail to defend a triangle choke by kermit.

    georgestpierre vs kermit kermit via triangle choke

    hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    thanks

    Your rating: None
    wonderfrog's picture

    you are a wise man!!

    lorenzodamarith;18380 wrote:
    hello,

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! well, this one isn't exactly straight foreward.

    obviously, georgestpierre would win the fight, due to his superior combative experience. still, those long legs of kermit are no joke, doing significant damage in the process.

    what changes the dynamic of this fight is the presence of kermit's long time lover/dominatrix, miss piggy. she is a mighty warrior. she has laid out every opponent with a single blow.

    while georgestpierre has excellent defensive skills, perhaps necessitating miss piggy striking several blows to finish him, he knows he would be beaten severely. in battle, few beings could match the fury of miss piggy.

    georgestpierre would thus throw the fight with kermit (making it look good) in order to avoid wrath of miss piggy.

    we will assume this is not a championship fight, and thus a 3 rounder.

    georgestpierre would keep it on the feet, avoiding the clinch as much as possible, giving kermit a greater chance of landing some decent combinations. georgestpierre would play it conservative in the 1st giving kermit a clear lead. due to the power of frog legs, kermit would be found to have a VERY powerful "teep" or "push kick". after a couple of these sending georgestpierre flying, georgestpierre would change up the game in the 2nd.

    the second would look much better for georgestpierre. there will be much more lateral movement and countering the teep. this round would go well for the canadian fighter. relying on the teep, kermit would be seen picking himself up several times. miss piggy (who would likely be cornering) would be hollering for kermit to "let his hands go". unfortunately, this would be a bit of a mistake due to the human's superior reach and upper body power.

    fans would actually be thinking georgestpierre will win as the third begins. as the two fighters engage each other, the canadian will "accidentally" miss the teep defense a couple times in a row, taking significant blows to the ribs and possibly head as he crashes backward into the cage. "wobbly", the human will spend most of the round stalling and avoiding his "superior" opponent. toward the end of the fight, the human will shoot for a double leg takedown and and land in the guard. during a guard pass attempt, georgestpierre will accidentally leave one arm behind and fail to defend a triangle choke by kermit.

    georgestpierre vs kermit kermit via triangle choke

    hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    thanks

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBE6gKfRbwM&feature=related]Miss Piggy beats up Scooter and Kermit[/ame]

    Your rating: None
    KibunInc's picture

    Such violence in society. Is Kermit the frog related to his less known cousin Wonderfrog?

    Your rating: None
    wonderfrog's picture

    KibunInc;18732 wrote:
    Is Kermit the frog related to his less known cousin Wonderfrog?

    indubitably, my fine froggy befriending fellow! :D

    Your rating: None
    lorenzodamarith's picture

    hello,

    the real question is whether or not wonderfrog has a bodyguard/lover like ms.piggy. perhaps named mrs.hogg or la puerca the luchadora?

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

    thanks

    Your rating: None
    kaperisk's picture

    the answer is... "if he comes in shape no one can beat BJ Penn."

    Your rating: None
    victorygreg's picture

    haha that was awesome

    Butterbean vs The Stay Puff Marshmallow Man
    Keith Hackney vs Cobra Kai Sensei
    Jens Pulver (lil evil) vs Little Richard
    Takanori Gomi vs Gomer Pile
    Gina Carano vs Gem and the Holograms

    Your rating: None
    lorenzodamarith's picture

    victorygreg;18432 wrote:
    haha that was awesome

    Butterbean vs The Stay Puff Marshmallow Man
    Keith Hackney vs Cobra Kai Sensei
    Jens Pulver (lil evil) vs Little Richard
    Takanori Gomi vs Gomer Pile
    Gina Carano vs Gem and the Holograms

    hello,

    butterbean vs staypuff staypuff could not enter arena and therefore could not fight.
    butterbean via forfeiture.

    keithhackney vs cobrakai sensei. keithhackney demonstrated willingness to rain strikes upon the enemy despite broken hands. sensei cut his knuckles and caved like a sissy. after crushing sensei and about 100 cobra kai students.........
    keithhackney via cajones.

    jenspulver vs little richard. little richard is known for ear piercing vocal frequencies. in the first round little richard would cut loose with a "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" at about 150mhz and 99 decibels.
    little richard via referree stoppage (jens ears, nose and eyes bleeding).

    takanorigomi vs gomerpyle. gomerpyle was known for his rarely used singing voice. time life collections called his voice "hypnotic".
    gomerpyle via crooning.

    ginacarrano vs. gem and the holograms. ginacarrano is the obvious superior combatant. however, the lightshow produced by her opponents would be visually disorienting leaving her vulnerable to her diminutive opponents' attacks (such that they are).

    gem and the holograms via split decision.

    thanks

    Your rating: None
    Bishop_J's picture

    BJ over Hercules (Tapout)

    Faber over The Cucuy (K.O.)

    The Avengers over Coture (Decision)

    George "The Animal" Steele over Lesnar (Flying Hammerlock)

    Rambo over Liddell (Arrow Through the Heart)

    Sherk & Strawberry Shortcake (Draw)

    Fat Albert over Tank (Shanked, cause F.A. is straight hood)

    Your rating: None
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